Stage 1: The first questions are, “Do I like her, and am I attracted to her?” This is easy. If I call her on the phone and 90 minutes pass in a blink, there’s probably liking. And attraction takes a glance.
Stage 2: Will she support me and can I support her? This is attached to the old adage that you want to be with someone whose confidence in you makes you a better person. This stage depends on intelligence, willpower, and values.
Stage 3: Is she caring? Everyone is caring in the early throws of love. But the real question is whether she can be caring beyond that – the kind of caring that leads to patience on rough days, understanding of terrible mistakes, and attention to feelings that might otherwise be missed.
Stage 4: Is her company fulfilling? Does she expand my horizons and make me think and learn and wonder about the world? Does she challenge me?
